Memorial Day 2019 Meet Iraq War Vet Maryanna Brunkhorst Westword how to get rid of ants in the house

Maryanna brunkhorst: each one is a little bit different. I knew we were putting together that anthology. I wanted to come up with something, and I was trying to find a way to encapsulate how to get rid of ants in the house my experience as a veteran. The first one, “metal,” kind of came from looking at the fact that no how to get rid of ants in the house soldier ever comes back exactly the same as when they how to get rid of ants in the house left. I just wanted to capture that sense of transition, and sometimes we can’t quite forget what has happened, which can be sad.

“honor” came out of a place of wanting to honor the how to get rid of ants in the house people who have been lost in war, killed in war. I worked with a group of "survivors" — that’s what the military calls anyone whose partner has died, instead of widow or widower — a few years back and tried to give them a how to get rid of ants in the house chance to heal, so I led an expressive writing workshop. That was kind of my ode to them, and I wanted to try to capture what it’s like when you lose someone and how hard that how to get rid of ants in the house can be for someone.

“next” was totally different and just came out of when I how to get rid of ants in the house was reading through a journal that I had and the how to get rid of ants in the house question was “what are you waiting for?" for that one, I was just playing with words and ended up loving how to get rid of ants in the house the way that it came out. I wanted to show that there is still hope when how to get rid of ants in the house things get rough.

Then “eraser.” one of my writing companions asked if I had ever how to get rid of ants in the house had anything happen in the military as a woman that how to get rid of ants in the house was probably not super-ideal, and that’s where "eraser" came from. That is my story from a time when I was how to get rid of ants in the house a bit discriminated against because I was a woman.

When I was in school, I was really involved in music and sports. I played instruments in band, sang in choir, and I played soccer and swam in high school. Before I joined the military I actually went off to how to get rid of ants in the house college near chicago and wasn’t planning on joining the military at all until someone how to get rid of ants in the house walked into one of my classes freshman year wearing air how to get rid of ants in the house force blues. That changed it a little.

I didn’t necessarily not want to join the military. My grandfather was actually in both world wars and survived how to get rid of ants in the house them, and my dad survived the military, so there was military in my family. I think I looked up to my mom more than how to get rid of ants in the house my dad — she was a musician and a teacher — and I just thought, and still think, she was the best human being. It’s kind of funny how I joined the military and how to get rid of ants in the house followed in my dad’s footsteps.

Yeah, that’s part of why I got out. I enjoyed my time in the military, but I wanted a chance to get out and do how to get rid of ants in the house something different. I wanted to either teach or work with people from how to get rid of ants in the house different countries. I chose to get out after seven years and went how to get rid of ants in the house back to school so I could do that.

I went into it because I wanted to fly, and I knew that the air force would teach me how to get rid of ants in the house how to fly, kind of. I was a navigator, so I got to be on the planes. I didn’t get a pilot’s slot doing ROTC, but I wanted to fly and I wanted to see how to get rid of ants in the house the world, and that’s honestly why I went in. I went in may 9, 2001, before 9/11 happened, so I knew I would be a flier. I knew there was a chance I could be going how to get rid of ants in the house to war, but I didn’t think it would really happen until it did. At the time it just happened; it was just what everybody did. I was surrounded by other people in the military, and there was no reason to really be concerned or how to get rid of ants in the house anything. It was like, “well, here we are, you made your choice, follow through.”

I wouldn’t say excited. I was excited to fly. I hate war. I’ve always hated war, even in the military. Honestly, when I first heard we were going to war, it broke my heart. I was dating someone who was a bomber navigator, and he actually was on the plane that dropped the how to get rid of ants in the house first bombs in iraq when we started operation iraqi freedom. I got on the phone with him, and he was like, “hey, babe, I got to drop bombs,” and I just bawled. I lost it. I hated war. Once I was excited about it; I saw it as a challenge. And I was excited about meeting the challenge.

I spent two years in japan, which was super-cool because I got to see a lot of asia how to get rid of ants in the house that I never thought I would see, like the philippines, vietnam, cambodia and even myanmar, which was burma at the time. I got to see a lot of the world that how to get rid of ants in the house way. Then I spent about a year total stationed in croatia how to get rid of ants in the house flying all over iraq.

Because I did ROTC, I was in training when I was in college. I went through officer basic training instead of enlisted. I spent five weeks in louisiana in the middle of how to get rid of ants in the house the summer in august, which was hot and kind of awful. Because it was really hot, we’d get up and do a lot of physical activities how to get rid of ants in the house first thing in the morning, five o’clock, and spend a lot time in classrooms learning about being how to get rid of ants in the house officers and about the history of the air force. Then we spent a lot of time marching and doing how to get rid of ants in the house command and control exercises. It was busy, it was hard, there were long days. But it wasn’t actually as hard as I thought it would be.

My first mission by myself, I flew from japan to the philippines and then thailand. I was really nervous because I wanted to make sure how to get rid of ants in the house I was going to do everything right. One of my jobs as a navigator when we’re flying over water is to make sure we don’t run out of fuel. It’s a lot of math, and I was still trying to figure out how to how to get rid of ants in the house make the math work. I was really scared I was going to screw something how to get rid of ants in the house up. And then being there was really neat because thailand and how to get rid of ants in the house the philippines were both brand-new countries to me; I had never been there before. I was just fascinated by the people and seeing what how to get rid of ants in the house it looked like. In some ways it seemed like a super-fun trip. We worked, but while we were there we had a day or how to get rid of ants in the house two in a country where we were relaxing and just how to get rid of ants in the house seeing it. My first combat mission was different; I was very nervous for that one.

Yeah, I did. Not as frequently as now, because it was harder to get international phone calls from how to get rid of ants in the house japan, but I did. My parents actually came to visit me in japan, which was pretty cool, because my family had never really been out of the how to get rid of ants in the house states before. And then when I was in croatia, same thing. We were able to talk once or twice a week. There’s a fifteen-hour time difference, so it was a little hard.

I did. My mother hated the idea that her daughter was in how to get rid of ants in the house the military. And I didn’t realize it would be an issue for her, because my father was in the military and my grandfather how to get rid of ants in the house was in the military. When I was in college and I told them I how to get rid of ants in the house was going to join ROTC, my mom would not talk to me about military life how to get rid of ants in the house for three years. We could talk about everything else, but she’s like, “I don’t want to hear about it.” I knew she was very worried, so that’s why I tried to stay in touch with them how to get rid of ants in the house as much as I could. While I was deployed, I would check in to say, “hey, I’m fine. Love you guys, things are okay.” my mom had a hard time with it.

Quite a bit, actually. I lived in japan for two years, and we had to live in a home there. So I used japanese furniture and things to furnish it. In croatia we were on base, deployed all the time. But they would usually have a bazaar on base where how to get rid of ants in the house a lot of the local merchants would come, so I have a couple of scarves. I have a chess set I got while I was how to get rid of ants in the house over there; that’s probably most of it. I love fabrics and hangings, so I have some artwork from all the places I’ve been

They were like, “oh, my gosh, we’ve never met an american woman before! We thought they all hated us, but you’re so nice.” and it was just such a gift to hear their how to get rid of ants in the house stories, talk to them and see where they were coming from. Then, when I was in croatia, there was one night we were flying back from a how to get rid of ants in the house mission and were wearing night-vision goggles. We were on our way back out and we were how to get rid of ants in the house up high, so we didn’t have to worry too much about being shot at. Half the crew was falling asleep because it was really how to get rid of ants in the house late and it had been a super-long day. I remember looking out the window through my NVG goggles how to get rid of ants in the house and just being amazed at how many stars there were how to get rid of ants in the house and how incredible it was being over the ground and how to get rid of ants in the house removed from all the chaos on the ground. It was super-peaceful, and a picture that I’ve kept in my mind ever since. A lot of my memorable experiences are from the people how to get rid of ants in the house in the places that I got to meet because of how to get rid of ants in the house the military.

For myself? No. Hopeless about whether we should have been there in the how to get rid of ants in the house first place and if the war was really the right how to get rid of ants in the house thing to do? Yeah, definitely, especially toward the end of my deployment. It was just really hard to see the reasons for how to get rid of ants in the house it. Even though we are going and trying to provide freedom how to get rid of ants in the house for these people, at the same time so many people were getting killed. One of our missions was flying hrs, which are people who have been killed. We would fly the bodies back home. Anytime we did that, we always had a really serious ceremony when we loaded how to get rid of ants in the house it onto the plane and took it off the plane. I almost always had to fight back tears because it how to get rid of ants in the house was so sad to me. That was always hard. That’s about the closest I came to being hopeless. It was just like, why are we doing this? Why are we still fighting so much?

My commitment. I had committed to being there, I committed to help my buddies out. When you’re on the plane, I die two seconds later than anybody else if I how to get rid of ants in the house screw up. So that made me want to do the best I how to get rid of ants in the house could to make sure that we kept everybody safe while how to get rid of ants in the house we were there. What kept me going was knowing that it was the how to get rid of ants in the house six or seven people who were on the plane with how to get rid of ants in the house me or the guys who were flying in the back how to get rid of ants in the house with us. That was what we had to do, so I had to do my job as well as how to get rid of ants in the house I could.

I was protected a lot. I’ve worked with and met a lot of veterans since how to get rid of ants in the house then who’ve had much harder times than I did. Because I was a flier, I was removed from a lot of chaos on the how to get rid of ants in the house ground. I saw it when we were taking wounded soldiers back. I saw it when we were taking human remains back. It was hard, and there’s definitely a lot of “don’t talk about it” that goes on. Because I journaled, I think I helped myself a lot because I always how to get rid of ants in the house had a way to write about it. But, especially being a woman, it was like, “don’t ever show emotion, don’t ever show weakness." "suck it up, you can do it." and it’s been hard for me to let myself feel coming how to get rid of ants in the house out of the military after that. I didn’t experience PTSD or anything like that.

Quite a bit, actually. When I was in japan, it was just like I was living here. I’m on when I’m working, and as a flier we are technically on call 24 how to get rid of ants in the house hours a day. They also had rules, like you need to know twelve hours before you fly, otherwise you’re not safe to fly. I always kinda knew what my schedule was. If I wasn’t flying, I was working in the squadron, which was monday through friday, 7:30 to 4:30. There was a lot of time you could be on how to get rid of ants in the house your own. In japan, one of my favorite things to do was go for how to get rid of ants in the house long walks or even go rollerblading on the river. And it was just so nice to get out and how to get rid of ants in the house be away from it and just pretend like I was how to get rid of ants in the house just a regular human being living in another country. Then in deployment, similarly we were on for 24 hours and then off how to get rid of ants in the house for 24 hours. On those days off, you’re still on base. There’s nowhere you can go. But you could find somewhere, like in your bunk or the library or something.

Yes, I do. My service ended in march 2008. It’s not a retirement ceremony because I wasn’t retiring, but they did have a small ceremony where my commander how to get rid of ants in the house gave me my awards. Military is big on awards, you get lots of awards for different things. It was my last day wearing blues. I went in, saluted to the commander, who said, “thank you for your service.” my parents had come up, so they were there for that, which was pretty cool, because they had never seen a lot of the military how to get rid of ants in the house part of my life. After that, I packed up my stuff and moved back to colorado.

I had applied to school, but I had about three months in between getting out how to get rid of ants in the house and going back to school. I intended to get a part-time job, but my dad had heart surgery. I spent those three months helping coach him back to how to get rid of ants in the house health and taking care of him. I lived with my folks for the summer and was how to get rid of ants in the house like a stay at home nurse/caretaker for my father. And then I went back and started school in august how to get rid of ants in the house 2008, so I went back to school pretty quick.

Yeah, definitely. Two of my best friends are currently stationed in europe. One got out before I did, went back to school and then went back in as how to get rid of ants in the house an officer. She’s a nurse over in germany. And the other one is getting close to retiring, so she’s almost got her twenty years, and she’s working for NATO over in europe, so she’s pretty high up there, which has been fun, following her life. Then a couple other friends of mine got out and how to get rid of ants in the house moved back here. I’ve got one buddy who flies for united now, so I catch up with him every now and then. I have lots of great friends who I’ve kept in touch with. Most of them are scattered all over the world, though.

I would go back to japan in a heartbeat and how to get rid of ants in the house live there again. I think I would go to a different part of how to get rid of ants in the house japan than where I was, in the northern suburbs of tokyo. It was great, but I want to see a different part of japan. Japan is a gorgeous country and the people are super-friendly. It was just such a neat experience to be over how to get rid of ants in the house there.

Writing helped a lot. I look at some of my journals from that time, and it’s like, oh, my gosh, I was complaining a lot. But writing was a way to get rid of it how to get rid of ants in the house and move past it. My girlfriends in the air force were awesome. Obviously I was friends with the guys, too, but most squadrons I was in, there were very few women. One of my friends, if they had a really rough, awful day, I would be like, “hey, jen, let’s get together, I need someone to talk to.” I was really blessed in that I had really awesome how to get rid of ants in the house girlfriends that would also help out if things were rough.

Probably about five years. It wasn’t so much that I was against talking about it, but I just wasn’t really sure how to talk about it. And some people didn’t want to hear it. There’s still stuff that, especially since writing my poems and so on, that my parents are like, "oh, my gosh, we had no idea!” and I’ve been out now for ten years! So it took a long time. You learn to find the people who actually want to how to get rid of ants in the house hear about it, and the people who don’t.

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